Try Harder, Hackers

The other day I got a message via Pinterest (Strike One. No one should message on Pinterest. It’s not 2011.) from someone named Jessica asking if I’d loan her money to replace her lost headphones (Strike Two. That’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t loan my grandma money to replace lost headphones.). Then she asked if I’d provide said loan via Bitcoin (Strike Three. I’m not a kidnapper or financier. I don’t know how to use Bitcoin.)

You know, Jessica, your hacker forefathers sent me emails that looked like they came from friends asking me to wire money because they’d lost their wallet overseas. Don’t disgrace their creative [and almost definitely Turkish] names with this millennial-esque “send me Bitcoin to buy new headphones” thing.

What’s In A Name?

The other day I was texting with three different people whose first name is Katie. At any given moment, there was about a 70% chance I was going to text the wrong one the wrong thing. Later that night I went to a class in which three of us were named Sarah and three were named Katie. This is basically a perfect reflection of my life.

Do you ever think about what name you wish your parents had given you? When I was a kid, my “play name” was always Montana. I don’t know why. I guess because Wisconsin and Utah don’t exactly roll off the tongue.

Currently, I think I’d make a really good Chloe. But I’m assuming it’s probably too late for this change. So, we’re sticking with Sarah for now.

Senior Citizen Life Hack 

Last spring I caught the flu. I don’t know what it was about that particular bout of illness, but it made me want to change my entire self-care at bedtime routine. I now put myself to bed like I’m a 95-year-old—and it’s the greatest thing ever.

I have a humidifier with rosemary mint aromatherapy. I have a heating pad. And hot tea designed to promote restful sleep. And a bedtime meditation podcast. It’s out of control. But my newest discovery is that while I’m getting ready for bed I can wrap my therapeutic aloe socks in my heating pad. Then, when it comes time to put them on they’re all toasty warm on my toes.

Living the dream, people. Living the dream.